1999

there’s a mad man in my brain
he’s chasing after me
he screams and cries out
the chase never ends
it’s a constant battle
to gain control
usually it is won
sometimes though
it is lost
once the battle is lost
it becomes another struggle
to gain control
the mad man never gives up
he is relentless
he is pursuant
he’s always following me
i can’t shake him off
sometimes i sit still
i think maybe he’ll leave
but he doesn’t
he stays and stares
his stare pounds my brain
his stare drives me insane
his stare….
the stare of the mad man

the solemnity of the rain
the tranquility of the night
the peace
it’s comforting
it’s enjoyable
the pitter-patter of the drops
calms every nerve
suspends all harmful thoughts
i become lost in the calm
it consumes me
then
it happened
the flashes
the sounds
the lights
the bangs
the calm is gone
the solemnity is dissipated
the tranquility is no more

things are so twisted
life is so twisted
people are so twisted
twisted in the head
the world is confused
society is confused
people are confused
confused in the brain

you look up
what’s that
it can’t be
a person
on the ledge
the jumper
why’s he there
what’s so bad
life’s not that bad
life gets better
surely it does
what’s so wrong
that you feel this way
tell me
i want to know
i want to help
tell me what’s wrong

go on, tell me
always here for you
you know i’ll listen

there’s no reason to jump
can you
put the past away
i’m here to help
cause maybe someday
i’ll be
the jumper

people of the world today
are so slacked
they want this and that
but they don’t want to do it
they want it given to them
on a silver platter
served to their lips
people of the world today
need to wake up
they need to just
do something
do anything
not just nothing
if you want something
then for gods sake
do something

my life, my business
i’ll lead it the way i want
i don’t care what anyone thinks anymore
it doesn’t matter how people look at me
all that matters is what i think
me myself and i
my “private life” is
exactly that
private
none of your business
don’t try and make it yours either
if i wanted you in my life
i’d invite you
i’d tell you to come in
i’d welcome you
with open arms
you can’t force your way in
especially when it’s
none of your business

time is every ones enemy
as times goes by
life goes on
people grow old
time is the ultimate killer

as i lay here thinking
i wonder why
why things must happen
why the world is the way it is
why am i a hated person
why am i the way i am
was i born this way
was i taught to be this way
i don’t know
i don’t know much of anything
much of anything at all
i don’t know why